i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
