So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my sisters under your porch take her home
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
