She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize