I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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