Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
