...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
