Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
