I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize