i always forget guys have bellybuttons
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
