It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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