shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
