And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
