I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Too much gin, very little bucket
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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