Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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