I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
