Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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