Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
