this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
