all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm like, not good at living.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
