suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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