Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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