im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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