Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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