so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
