I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
