You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
