So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
