Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
