so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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