He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
