Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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