Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
