if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
