Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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