our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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