You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm passing your future prison.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
