His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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