Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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