but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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