Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
