I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
