we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
