I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
