He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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