Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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