Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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