I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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