is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
