i always forget guys have bellybuttons
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
