i already hear my dad disowning me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
