Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
