I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
