Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Couch. On fire.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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