I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
