Who wears a wallet chain?!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
