i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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