he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize