Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
