Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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