remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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