I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We are two peas in an std pod
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
