I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
did i walk over a car last night?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
