is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i now understand why vodka
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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