I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
