have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
