Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
