But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
NoShamevember. You game?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
