It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
