i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
