we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
