His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
