he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize