No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
