So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So much Jack, so little girl.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
