Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
